My Advice For New Moms
This last week has been difficult for me. I'm more tired and less happy and Everest is extra fussy. But it's driven home a truth that I've been learning since I got pregnant.
You Don't Always Have To Be Happy During Big Life Changes
During pregnancy I was moody, cried a lot, even straight up mean sometimes. The first month after having a baby I was depressed and lethargic and overwhelmed and still moody, crying, and mean. Even now, almost 4 months postpartum I have really bad days and sometimes those days turn into bad weeks. I'm here to say that's normal and it's ok.
Relying on help, whether it's your family, friends, hired help, church, or anybody else is totally ok!
Needing help for more than 2 weeks is ok.
Asking somebody to clean for you is ok.
Having somebody hold the baby while you clean is ok.
Stepping away from a crying baby is ok. No baby ever died from crying.
Taking a few extra moments outside your car while baby is inside so you have just a second of quiet is ok.
Taking a nap on your mom's couch while she takes care of your baby is ok.
Having an extremely messy house is ok.
Having an extremely clean house is ok, too.
Messy buns, sweat pants, and a nursing bra is absolutely an acceptable outfit.
Sitting on the couch all day with your baby watching Twilight is ok.
Getting absolutely no work or house cleaning done is ok.
Hiring cleaners is ok.
No exercise for months is ok.
Gentle exercise before the 6 week checkup is ok.
Crying ALL THE TIME is ok.
Calling a friend just for some adult talk is ok.
Ignoring your baby for a little while is ok.
Bottle feeding is ok.
Breastfeeding is ok.
Showering while your baby is sleeping is ok.
Not showering for days is ok.
Watching all of the movies you own is ok.
Eating out all the time is ok.
Asking somebody to cook for you is ok.
It's ok to have a mommy tummy.
It's ok to bounce back quickly.
It's ok to brag about baby's great sleep habits.
It's ok to complain about baby's poor sleep habits.
Sleeping with your baby on your chest is ok. Nobody will die.
Eating junk food is ok.
Worrying about how you look is ok.
Basically, don't stress about where you are right now. You have a lot of new responsibility. A baby is a HUGE deal. Baby needs to adjust to the world and you need to adjust your world to baby. You need to heal physically, emotionally, mentally,etc. Birthing a baby is considered a trauma to the body, give yourself space and grace to heal.
You Don't Always Have To Be Happy During Big Life Changes
During pregnancy I was moody, cried a lot, even straight up mean sometimes. The first month after having a baby I was depressed and lethargic and overwhelmed and still moody, crying, and mean. Even now, almost 4 months postpartum I have really bad days and sometimes those days turn into bad weeks. I'm here to say that's normal and it's ok.
Relying on help, whether it's your family, friends, hired help, church, or anybody else is totally ok!
Needing help for more than 2 weeks is ok.
Asking somebody to clean for you is ok.
Having somebody hold the baby while you clean is ok.
Stepping away from a crying baby is ok. No baby ever died from crying.
Taking a few extra moments outside your car while baby is inside so you have just a second of quiet is ok.
Taking a nap on your mom's couch while she takes care of your baby is ok.
Having an extremely messy house is ok.
Having an extremely clean house is ok, too.
Messy buns, sweat pants, and a nursing bra is absolutely an acceptable outfit.
Sitting on the couch all day with your baby watching Twilight is ok.
Getting absolutely no work or house cleaning done is ok.
Hiring cleaners is ok.
No exercise for months is ok.
Gentle exercise before the 6 week checkup is ok.
Crying ALL THE TIME is ok.
Calling a friend just for some adult talk is ok.
Ignoring your baby for a little while is ok.
Bottle feeding is ok.
Breastfeeding is ok.
Showering while your baby is sleeping is ok.
Not showering for days is ok.
Watching all of the movies you own is ok.
Eating out all the time is ok.
Asking somebody to cook for you is ok.
It's ok to have a mommy tummy.
It's ok to bounce back quickly.
It's ok to brag about baby's great sleep habits.
It's ok to complain about baby's poor sleep habits.
Sleeping with your baby on your chest is ok. Nobody will die.
Eating junk food is ok.
Worrying about how you look is ok.
Basically, don't stress about where you are right now. You have a lot of new responsibility. A baby is a HUGE deal. Baby needs to adjust to the world and you need to adjust your world to baby. You need to heal physically, emotionally, mentally,etc. Birthing a baby is considered a trauma to the body, give yourself space and grace to heal.
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